


It's my fault

by Kelady



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: Andy and Jerry family, Cousins actually, Depressed Andy, F/M, Jerry dead, Mr. McNally alcoholic, Mr. Mcnally dead, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 18:40:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1993641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelady/pseuds/Kelady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He guys. I posted this before, but me being the idiot I am didn't include they story... lol any way here it is again for real. Sorry<br/>~~~~~~~~~~<br/>It's my fault. It's my fault Jerry is dead. My only family. I should just die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's my fault

It's all my fault. It's always my fault. Sam's right. It's my fault Jerry's dead. If anyone should've died that day it should've been me. Not him. So I'll set things right. 

I walk to the top floor of my apartment building this should be high enough. Let me text Sam. If anyone should talk me down it should be him.  
SAM: I'll miss you - Andy  
Maybe he'll care enough to call or come over. I swing my self over the rail and try not to look down. It's a long way down. I see a car pulling in but it's not Sam's.  
"Oliver?"  
That got his attention. He looks up at me.  
"McNally... Andy... What are you doing?"  
"The right thing. If someone should've died that day it should be me. Not Jerry. It's my fault. If I hadn't made Sam follow that stupid lead. It's all my fault Ollie."  
"Andy I'm coming up don't do anything stupid."  
"It wouldn't be stupid."  
"Just hold on okay."  
I can hear him say  
"Sammy brother you gotta get over here. Now." Pause. "I don't care what's going on if you're not here in 5 minutes you are so dead." Pause. "I'm serious." I don't hear the rest of the conversation.  
The only other person to talk me down would be Oliver. He's the best father figure I've had since my mom left.  
I hear the door open and I see Oliver come over.  
"Andy, what's this about?"  
"It's all my fault! If it wasn't for me Jerry wouldn't be dead. Can't you see! I ruin everything around me. My dad. Jerry. Traci. Sam. God. I mess everything up. Screw Up McNally right? I'm a horrible person. No wonder my mom left, my dad drank himself dead! I ruin everything. I wasn't enough for my dad so he kills himself in a bottle. Maybe I should do the same." At this point I know I'm rambling but I can't help it.  
"Andy no one blames you for Jerry's death. Only you. And it's NOT your fault. You hear me. You were a cop following a lead. That is not your fault. Traci. She misses you anyone can see that. Do you know how devastated she'd be. Losing her best friend and her fiancé. In the same month! It would destroy her."  
"Like losing your dad and Jerry and Sam in the the same weeks! No one knows this but, Jerry he... He was my cousin. Hmmm. Known him all my life. He's been there through everything. My mom left my dad died. We didn't want anyone to know. I already had my dad who worked there. But I would've killed myself a long time ago if it weren't for him. Now that I killed him, I should be with him."  
"Andy you didn't kill him. No one blames--"  
"Sam does."  
"No h-"  
"Told me so. Said if he hasn't followed my lead he'd still be here. I killed my cousin. And I deserve to die for it."  
I start to step off the edge when I hear Sam  
"Andy... I...I Don't blame you. Come off the edge."  
"I deserve this."  
"No you don't." He steps over the railing on the edge with me.  
"You die I die. Together."  
"What are you doing?"  
"Based on your logic if you die I killed you. So I'd deserve to die."  
"That's ridiculous."  
"That's how it is in your mind to justify your suicide. Why can't it be like that for me?"  
Oliver speaks up.  
"Andy please. I can't lose someone else."  
I look over and he's crying. Knowing I caused that is enough.  
"Yea yea okay."  
I step safely onto the other side and hug Oliver. I don't say anything to Sam as he climbs over.  
"I'm sorry so sorry. Can we get outta here? Oliver?"  
"Course we can."  
I don't look back at Sam because it hurts too much. I'm starting over. The new Andy McNally. No one can stop me now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed... For real...


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